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I was glad she had not come after me stronger. I didn't want to lie. Ihad been reading FictionMania stories, and I could not reveal that to her,especially my addiction to the "caught with consequences" category, inwhich the hapless submissive male is found sporting his wife's bra andforced to become her blushing maid. I closed everything and opened theNew York Times in a different browser in case Michelle decided to glanceover my shoulder later to see if her husband was lying.# # #"Thank you," Michelle said, folding her napkin neatly beside her plate."I love P.F. Chang's. You were so sweet to take me out." You're welcome," I said. "You deserve it after winning that jury trialtoday." Oh, it was nothing. A two-day trial of a case that should not have goneall the way. Incompetent defense lawyer." Maybe it's time for you to leave the district attorney?" I asked. "Theagency has great health insurance, and they like what I'm doing. I expecta promotion soon."She did not dignify my. Dying sucks, I'm here to tell you, and it's a damned good thing you only have to do it once. No one, and I mean NO one, would ever sign up for a second death.Being dead isn't bad, it's the getting there that's a bitch. It's kind of like one of those vacations to an obscure little Pacific island. Once there it's Paradise, but getting there is a royal pain in the ass, or in my case in the chest.When you're dead, there is no more pain, and that's a good thing. The flip side is there isn't much in the way of physical sensation of the pleasurable kind either. What you have is your mind, your thoughts, your emotions. Those go on in full cinematic glory, no escaping. In a sense it's even worse than being alive because the living have their body to counterbalance their emotional side, provide sensation to add to awareness, even if it's just a hiccup or a fart.My first manifestation was like a gathering of dust motes, tiny bits of my thoughts and feelings accreting into a cohesive whole, as.
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